{"id":128,"date":"2021-02-25T23:51:41","date_gmt":"2021-02-25T23:51:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fafasd.net\/?p=128"},"modified":"2021-02-25T23:51:41","modified_gmt":"2021-02-25T23:51:41","slug":"always-remember-the-brain-30-strategies-for-parents-of-children-with-a-fetal-alcohol-spectrum-disorder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fafasd.net\/index.php\/2021\/02\/25\/always-remember-the-brain-30-strategies-for-parents-of-children-with-a-fetal-alcohol-spectrum-disorder\/","title":{"rendered":"Always Remember the Brain: 30 Strategies for Parents of Children with a Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder"},"content":{"rendered":"

People who have been exposed to alcohol in utero have brain differences that express themselves behaviorally. As parents of children with FASDs it\u2019s important to keep these brain differences in mind when caring for our children. Remembering brain differences and providing environmental change and accommodations to help support people with FASDs is called the neurobehavioral, or NB, approach. The scenarios and strategies below are examples of how to put this knowledge into action.<\/em><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Celebrate when they follow through on a 2 part instruction, even if the initial request was 3 parts.\u00a0Remember MEMORY.<\/em><\/li>\n
  2. When you check if your child put his laundry away and you find that it\u2019s not really sorted, sort it for him or with him.\u00a0Think about EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING.<\/em><\/li>\n
  3. Use terms like \u201cconfabulation\u201d and \u201clack of boundaries\u201d instead of lying and stealing.\u00a0Consider MEMORY, REACTIVITY, PROCESSING, and LEARNED DEFENSIVENESS.<\/em><\/li>\n
  4. When you know school is hard for your child and he resists going and the teachers are writing notes home about his behaviors, tell him you are proud of him for working so hard and trying. Because it\u2019s true!\u00a0Recognize STRENGTHS, EFFORT, and ENERGY NEEDS.<\/em><\/li>\n
  5. Allow \u201cmental health\u201d days when the thought of school is just too overwhelming.\u00a0Focus on STRENGTHS, EFFORT, and ENERGY NEEDS.<\/em><\/li>\n
  6. Clean their room with (or for) them.\u00a0Remember EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING, ORGANIZATION, and need for SUPPORT.<\/em><\/li>\n
  7. Tell him how much you enjoy his company\u2026 Even if he\u2019s beeping and clicking all freaking day!\u00a0Focus on the POSITIVE. Encourage RELATIONSHIP.<\/em><\/li>\n
  8. When she\u2019s struggling to grasp a math concept on paper\u2026make it real life with something she loves. Mini, regular, jumbo marshmallows anyone?\u00a0Use LEARNING STRENGTHS to your (and their) advantage!<\/em><\/li>\n
  9. Resist the urge to re comb her hair when she says she brushed it and she\u2019s happy with it.\u00a0Focus on the POSITIVE. Don\u2019t let your VALUES get in the way of their NEEDS.<\/em><\/li>\n
  10. Remember when the blank stare happens he is processing. Slow down and wait! Give time for REAL communication.\u00a0Remember PROCESSING SPEED!<\/em><\/li>\n
  11. Be kind to yourself so you can give them the benefit of the doubt. Happy parent, less stressed child.\u00a0SELF CARE is crucial!<\/em><\/li>\n
  12. Even if your child has raged and screamed and said really mean things to you, when he calms down and comes to you later with a \u201csorry\u201d and a hug, ACCEPT the apology. Realize REACTIVITY is just that, and doesn\u2019t reflect your child\u2019s actual feelings.\u00a0Don\u2019t let your VALUES get in the way of their NEEDS.<\/em><\/li>\n
  13. When she starts looking up porn on the internet immediately institute a nanny and supervision system, calmly explain the effects of porn on her brain and don\u2019t let her know you are screaming into your pillow.\u00a0Remember her IMPULSIVITY!<\/em><\/li>\n
  14. Remove opportunity for actions that impulsivity cannot control (taking inappropriate items, using tools dangerously, compulsively eating snacks).\u00a0Modify the ENVIRONMENT to accommodate their need for supervision in light of IMPULSIVITY or poorly understood BOUNDARIES.<\/em><\/li>\n
  15. Build a strong relationship with child so that you can maintain some influence over time.\u00a0Focus on RELATIONSHIP!<\/em><\/li>\n
  16. Behavior is communication of something the child\/person can not verbalize\u2026and usually the message is some variant of \u201cI am overwhelmed, please help me\u201d\u00a0Be a BRAIN DETECTIVE! Understand FASD and your child\u2019s brain differences. Step back, OBSERVE, and ask yourself what your kiddo needs!<\/em><\/li>\n
  17. Wait before you respond and meet them where they are.\u00a0Recognize REACTIVITY. Understand BRAIN FUNCTION. Focus on RELATIONSHIP! Consider your VALUES when responding to behavior!<\/em><\/li>\n
  18. Use visual cues when explaining in addition to verbal.\u00a0STRENGTHS-BASED LEARNING! If someone processes visually better than verbally, provide visual cues.<\/em><\/li>\n
  19. Be aware that they will imitate bad habits so watch and listen and monitor frequently.\u00a0If a STRENGTH is copying others\u2019 behaviors, use this to your advantage! Provide lots of opportunity for good modeling and inclusion in a controlled, safe setting!<\/em><\/li>\n
  20. When your child wants macaroni and cheese for breakfast and he makes it himself, roll with it!\u00a0Don\u2019t get caught up in your own VALUES when it comes to caring for a person with FASD. Focus on STRENGTHS!<\/em><\/li>\n
  21. Give proper clear short instructions don\u2019t be like me this morning as my girl was throwing up everywhere. I said, with bucket in hand, try and be sick\u00a0inside<\/strong>\u00a0something, hence the drawer full of vomit.\u00a0Remember that difficulty with ABSTRACTION can mean LITERAL thinking!<\/em><\/li>\n
  22. When your dad thinks that she \u201chas no respect for him as a grandfather\u201d because she told him to stop yelling, tell him he is wrong\u2026dead wrong. And tell him in front of her. And ask him to apologize to her\u2026in front of her. ( and yes, he did!).\u00a0Remind others that they need to check their interpretation of behaviors at the door! Don\u2019t let their VALUES get in the way of understanding BRAIN FUNCTION!<\/em><\/li>\n
  23. When she says she\u2019s not doing any schoolwork today, ask her if she needs a day off instead of replying \u201coh, yes you will!\u201d Then watch her pick up her books and start anyway because you gave her the understanding that she needed instead of losing it.\u00a0Focus on RELATIONSHIP. Respect how hard her BRAIN had to work at school all day. Remember PROCESSING SPEED.<\/em><\/li>\n
  24. Watch the actions and listen to the dialogue, bleeping out the unkind words. That\u2019s her frustration talking- not her heart. So \u201cI\u2019m going to stupid Grandma\u2019s\u201d = I\u2019m on the way to grandma\u2019s and I love her but I want to stay home; I\u2019m sick of transitions even if I love the people there. Reflect to her with \u201cyou don\u2019t want to go to grandma\u2019s. You love her so much, but you really want to stay home. I hear that. I\u2019m so glad tomorrow we get three stay home days together! Wanna make a plan for fun?\u201d Remember\u00a0IMPULSIVITY<\/em>\u00a0and difficulty with\u00a0LANGUAGE<\/em>\u00a0and\u00a0COMMUNICATION<\/em>.<\/li>\n
  25. Remember they are excitable always on simmer ready to boil if they are challenged! Encourage calm downs instead.\u00a0FIGHT or FLIGHT is often a constant for people with FASD. Remember to create ENVIRONMENTS that promote calm and predictability.<\/em><\/li>\n
  26. Think half their chronological age. Remember\u00a0DEVELOPMENTAL AGE<\/em>.<\/li>\n
  27. Just because it went smooth yesterday doesn\u2019t mean it will today. Don\u2019t set unreal expectations for you as a parent or your child.\u00a0BRAIN FUNCTION FLUCTUATES<\/em>\u00a0from day to day, or hour to hour.<\/li>\n
  28. Create and post a visual schedule so they always know what to expect. Unplanned surprises are not usually fun! ACCOMMODATE BASED ON STRENGTHS, remember that predicting is an EXECUTIVE FUNCTION.<\/li>\n
  29. Tell other family members, friends, youth coaches, etc (that are actively involved in your family ) you parent with NB approach and you would like them to take time to read about it so they can help foster a safe, reliable, and structured environment for your kiddo to thrive. An\u00a0INFORMED SYSTEM OF CARE<\/em>\u00a0can help prevent negative secondary outcomes.<\/li>\n
  30. Don\u2019t forget to ask yourself the question: is this brain differences I\u2019m seeing?\u00a0Always, always, always THINK BRAIN.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    \u00a9 Families Affected by Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder fafasd.org (now fafasd.net), courtesy of the parents on the Shifting the Paradigm<\/em>\u00a0discussion page on Facebook.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    People who have been exposed to alcohol in utero have brain differences that express themselves behaviorally. As parents of children with FASDs it’s important to keep these brain differences in mind when caring for our children. Remembering brain differences and<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,7],"tags":[13,27,20,10,8,14,26,24],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fafasd.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fafasd.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fafasd.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fafasd.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fafasd.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=128"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/fafasd.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":129,"href":"https:\/\/fafasd.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128\/revisions\/129"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fafasd.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=128"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fafasd.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=128"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fafasd.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=128"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}